To keep on filling
is not as good as stopping.
Overfilled, the cupped hands drip,
better to stop pouring.

Sharpen a blade too much
and its edge will soon be lost.
Fill your house with jade and gold
and it brings insecurity.
Puff yourself with honor and pride
and no one can save you from a fall.

Retire when the work is done;
this is the way of heaven.

-Tao te ching (9th verse, as translated by Dr. Wayne W. Dyer)

Also, good article...

http://www.jpost.com/servlet/Satellite?cid=1214726164944&pagename=JPost%2FJPArticle%2FShowFull

The author, Rabbi Shmuley, talks about the four unforgivable sins in the United States: killing your wife, molesting a child, being old and having too many children. He expands on the latter.

Conventional Wisdom not so Wise

If something comes up in your life that requires you to endure air travel, please be forewarned that wearing cute sandals can lead to a sanitary hazard- walking barefoot on dirty airport carpets through security checkpoints.

Since this pleasantry is followed by two to four hours of breathing stale, recycled air, I see no reason why one should not indulge themselves in a few good magazines and a bag of m&m’s.

My magazines of choice this past weekend were “O Magazine” and “Real Simple,” and while my choices may suggest otherwise, I am indeed 22 years old.

Among other eye-catching articles, I was particularly moved by a personality assessment quiz in O Magazine. According to it, my personality type thankfully does not fall under the categories of “abandonment,” “emotional deprivation” or “unrelenting standards.” Rather, I fall undeniably into the category of “entitled.”

This means, in the words of some really smart psychologists, that I “hate to be constrained or kept from doing what I want,” paired beautifully with “I can’t tolerate other people telling me what to do,” topped off with (my personal favorite) “I feel that I shouldn’t have to follow the normal rules and conventions other people do.”

Hey, I’m not arguing.

In fact, I’ll take it a step further and say that normal rules and conventions usually are just downright wrong.

Let’s take everyone’s favorite phrase for example: “Everything happens for a reason.” This one just bugs me. Now before you say, “Hey, I love that phrase! I live by that phrase. Why I oughtta…” just hear me out.

It’s not that I think the concept is necessarily flawed, it’s that I think you’re selling yourself short. For example, let’s say you were fired from your job and spent a few weeks wallowing in a rather intense bout of self-pity. Then, you went out to get a new job that you now love, causing you to say, “See? Everything happens for a reason. If I hadn’t gotten fired from that job, then I wouldn’t have this job that I now love!”

I say, good for you! I think you made the best of that situation, and adapted to your new situation quite well. And I applaud you for turning that obstacle into something that works for you. So let’s not give all the credit to some mysterious, unknown force.

Take note that credit is due to the higher power you liken yourself to. But let’s not get carried away.

What people really mean when they say “Everything happens for a reason” is “Everything turns out alright in the end (thanks to a positive attitude and an open mind.)” Now that's a piece of conventional wisdom I can sit with.

And if you still remain loyal to the conventional wisdom in question, please remember what O Magazine confirmed: I am entitled to my opinion.

Enough is Enough

"Enough" is one of those pliable words that you can't look at for more than a minute. If you do, it seems like it's not an English word and it looks unpronouncable. Actually, this can happen with any word. But "enough" seems more prone to this illusion.

Its meaning is just as ambiguous. I began to think in depth about the concept of "enough" after a brief conversation I had with a friend who was updating me on another friend's travels to Namibia:

"I ran into [Caucasian-American girl in Namibia]'s mom today at the mall."
"Oh, how did she say she was doing?"
"Well they went to visit her about a month ago and said they had the best time."
"That's great!"
"Yeah, her mom said she is amazed at how [Caucasian-American girl in Namibia] thrives in an environment where she doesn't have anything."

The last part of this conversation interested me for two reasons- first, I felt jealous. 'What a strange thing to be jealous of,' I thought to myself. 'Why am I jealous of someone who is happy while owning very little? Is it because I don't think I could be?'

For the record, I live in a very nice condominium with comfortable furniture and a full refrigerator (sometimes). I have a fairly new car with a navigation system that is fun to play with, and I buy ridiculous toys for my spoiled cockapoo.

So, perhaps I was worrying that without all these nice things I wouldn't be happy. For example, if I didn't buy fun puppy toys for Frankie (the cockapoo), then she wouldn't be as fun, and then living with her wouldn't be as fun and I wouldn't be happy. Or, if I didn't have a navigation system then I might get lost and drive into a lake and then I wouldn't be happy. Or, if I lived in a shady apartment with a dirty carpet I would be annoyed when I came home at night trying to figure out how to get the carpet clean. These examples may be far-fetched, but you get the idea.

But then I thought to myself, "Doesn't happiness transcend all that crap? If poor people can be truly happy without all that crap, then can't I be truly happy with all that crap?" In other words, I began to think about the common denominator among happy people.

Which brings me to the other reason why this conversation interested me. I'm beginning to think that the common denominator among happy people is that they know when enough is enough. (There goes my mind messing with the word "enough" again- it seems Scandinavian now.)

So, happy people know when enough is enough, but here is the kicker: Enough depends on who you're talking to.

Let's take an every-day situation like the one I'm in now, and apply it to different imaginary people:

Situation: I'm invited to a wedding.
Goal: Figure out what to wear to the wedding.

For me, "enough" is going to the mall or a cute boutique and finding a new dress that doesn't bust my budget. Or, "enough" is wearing a dress I already have and finding a new pair of shoes or a cardigan to go with it.

(At this point, I've lost all male readers I may have ever had).

For a single mother of two in Milwaukee, living in low-income housing, "enough" might be finding pretty hand-me-down dresses for her two daughters and going to Good Will to find a great deal.

And lastly, for Angelina Jolie or another woman for whom money is no object, "enough" could be getting a custom-made designer dress for her and her newly adopted Namibian child.

(You like the Namibia motif?)

In all three situations, the individuals were satisfied with their outcome. No one went to extremes considering their own circumstances. In fact, even though these three women lead completely different lives, it's likely that all three people left this situation with the exact same sense of satisfaction. That's because they knew when enough was enough.

Admittedly, figuring out how much is "enough" is a predicament that presents itself more often to affluent people who have enough money to make several decisions about. However, the concept is most certainly present in all of our lives and not unique to one set of people. In fact, it may be the one thing that unites us.

But before I continue, let me point out what I am most certainly not proposing. Knowing how much is too much comes from a place within us that is difficult to track down. The Dalai Lama might even argue it is the very source of happiness. But saying that "enough" varies from person to person should not be taken as an excuse for a millionaire to own a house the size of Namibia, nor is it a reason for a low-income family to eat at McDonald's every night with their kids.

Which reminds me, I've been eating this Nutella straight from the container for about twenty minutes now. I think I've had enough.