Enough is Enough

"Enough" is one of those pliable words that you can't look at for more than a minute. If you do, it seems like it's not an English word and it looks unpronouncable. Actually, this can happen with any word. But "enough" seems more prone to this illusion.

Its meaning is just as ambiguous. I began to think in depth about the concept of "enough" after a brief conversation I had with a friend who was updating me on another friend's travels to Namibia:

"I ran into [Caucasian-American girl in Namibia]'s mom today at the mall."
"Oh, how did she say she was doing?"
"Well they went to visit her about a month ago and said they had the best time."
"That's great!"
"Yeah, her mom said she is amazed at how [Caucasian-American girl in Namibia] thrives in an environment where she doesn't have anything."

The last part of this conversation interested me for two reasons- first, I felt jealous. 'What a strange thing to be jealous of,' I thought to myself. 'Why am I jealous of someone who is happy while owning very little? Is it because I don't think I could be?'

For the record, I live in a very nice condominium with comfortable furniture and a full refrigerator (sometimes). I have a fairly new car with a navigation system that is fun to play with, and I buy ridiculous toys for my spoiled cockapoo.

So, perhaps I was worrying that without all these nice things I wouldn't be happy. For example, if I didn't buy fun puppy toys for Frankie (the cockapoo), then she wouldn't be as fun, and then living with her wouldn't be as fun and I wouldn't be happy. Or, if I didn't have a navigation system then I might get lost and drive into a lake and then I wouldn't be happy. Or, if I lived in a shady apartment with a dirty carpet I would be annoyed when I came home at night trying to figure out how to get the carpet clean. These examples may be far-fetched, but you get the idea.

But then I thought to myself, "Doesn't happiness transcend all that crap? If poor people can be truly happy without all that crap, then can't I be truly happy with all that crap?" In other words, I began to think about the common denominator among happy people.

Which brings me to the other reason why this conversation interested me. I'm beginning to think that the common denominator among happy people is that they know when enough is enough. (There goes my mind messing with the word "enough" again- it seems Scandinavian now.)

So, happy people know when enough is enough, but here is the kicker: Enough depends on who you're talking to.

Let's take an every-day situation like the one I'm in now, and apply it to different imaginary people:

Situation: I'm invited to a wedding.
Goal: Figure out what to wear to the wedding.

For me, "enough" is going to the mall or a cute boutique and finding a new dress that doesn't bust my budget. Or, "enough" is wearing a dress I already have and finding a new pair of shoes or a cardigan to go with it.

(At this point, I've lost all male readers I may have ever had).

For a single mother of two in Milwaukee, living in low-income housing, "enough" might be finding pretty hand-me-down dresses for her two daughters and going to Good Will to find a great deal.

And lastly, for Angelina Jolie or another woman for whom money is no object, "enough" could be getting a custom-made designer dress for her and her newly adopted Namibian child.

(You like the Namibia motif?)

In all three situations, the individuals were satisfied with their outcome. No one went to extremes considering their own circumstances. In fact, even though these three women lead completely different lives, it's likely that all three people left this situation with the exact same sense of satisfaction. That's because they knew when enough was enough.

Admittedly, figuring out how much is "enough" is a predicament that presents itself more often to affluent people who have enough money to make several decisions about. However, the concept is most certainly present in all of our lives and not unique to one set of people. In fact, it may be the one thing that unites us.

But before I continue, let me point out what I am most certainly not proposing. Knowing how much is too much comes from a place within us that is difficult to track down. The Dalai Lama might even argue it is the very source of happiness. But saying that "enough" varies from person to person should not be taken as an excuse for a millionaire to own a house the size of Namibia, nor is it a reason for a low-income family to eat at McDonald's every night with their kids.

Which reminds me, I've been eating this Nutella straight from the container for about twenty minutes now. I think I've had enough.